Imagine you are driving around the neighborhood, cheifin’ on a blunt and minding your own business when you suddenly see flashing red and blue lights in your rearview mirror. You get that dreadful sinking feeling when you realize you will more than likely be spending the night behind bars – every stoner’s worst nightmare.

So what should you have done? Obviously the smartest thing to do is to just avoid smoking or carrying weed in your car altogether. But, like with abstinence, human history – and experience- tells us we’re going to do it anyway. With that in mind, let’s lay down a few of our own rules to prevent being handcuffed.

Rule #1: Leave your pipe at home – This goes for your grinder, bong, rig, and basically any paraphernalia you own as well, especially if it’s not clean. If you’re gonna smoke on the road, take a joint or a blunt. That way you can toss out the roach (i.e. evidence) when you’re done.

Rule #2: Only carry what you can eat – Let’s face it, if you get pulled over after smoking in the car, you are gonna get searched. Period. If you’re bringing a little extra, make sure the amount is small enough – say 1-2 grams –to quickly eat and swallow before the cop is at your window.

Rule #3: Don’t smoke while transporting your stock – At some point you are gonna have to travel to stock up for the next month – or at least for the week. Understand that cops will find reasons to pull you over and when that happens, you want to make sure you don’t give them automatic probable cause to search your car. The point is to make yourself look as innocent as possible, so remember to be polite!

Rule #4: Practice good odor control – I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but your shit reeks! Part of getting away with it is making sure your vehicle doesn’t smell like a pound and a half. Stash your stash in a stink-proof bag, and then put that bag in another bag, and then hide that bag in another… you get the picture. Have a heavy-duty spray nearby at all times.

Rule #5: Know the law – Laws vary both by state and by county. In some parts, being pulled over in a hatchback means you no longer have a trunk in the eyes of the law, so anything found back there will be held against you in court. Carrying an ounce in Oregon is different than carrying an ounce in Texas; even though both count as misdemeanors (until summer for OR at least), only in Texas do you face possible jail time.

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